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Is my roommate gay?

Asked by: 1801 views bi, Orientation, spooning

Dear Chadz, I have lived with my roommate for over a year now and am wondering if he is gay/bi or straight. He is a very good looking guy. When he has been asked about past relationships he said he had one girlfriend in high school and one in college and the longest relationship was six months. Recently we went on a camping trip with a group of friends. After a day of activities and some beers around the campfire we all went to bed. My roommate and I shared a tent. I woke up at one point when he put his leg on me. Later when I had rolled onto my side, he initiated spooning and put his arm around me. It seemed like he was asleep. I put my hand on his arm and we spooned for a bit before he suddenly rolled over and then there was no more contact for the night. Another incident also involving alcohol. We got back from the bars and where sitting on the couch playing video games. Both of us lift weights regularly and my roommate commented on how my chest looked in the shit that I was wearing then proceeded to reach over and touch my peck. We kept playing video games and nothing more happened. One time at a bar a girl was flirting with him pretty aggressively. After telling her he wasn't interested multiple times he told the girl that he was gay to get her to go away and even went as far as to say our third roommate (that we had at the time) was his boyfriend. In the time we have been roommates he has not had a girlfriend, been on a date, or brought anyone back to the apartment. Is my roommate gay or is it all in my head and these incidents are perfectly normal for a straight man. As we have become better friends I've started falling for him. Please help.     JD, age 27

1 Answers

  1. CHADZhenry on Jul 16, 2014 Reply


    Hm, this a difficult one to pinpoint. He may be gay and having trouble coming to terms with it; if he were Bi, as you also suspect, he would have likely gone out with that girl from the bar, unless he truly just didn’t like her.

    When you were spooning in the tent, could you tell if he had an erection? That would be the best indicator of his orientation, I would think. But, alcohol has a tendency of bringing out suppressed feelings in people, where they do things they would never do sober. That is also a possibility.


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