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Turns out I am a full Lesbian- now what?

Asked by: 1703 views bisexual, lesbian, Orientation

Dear Chadz, So, I thought I was bisexual and I told a couple of friends I was bisexual and everyone was totally supportive. But over the past year or so, I have been experimenting tons (I have kissed/gone pretty far with around 20 different people) just because I still wasn't satisfied. I realised that while kissing guys is nice for me, I have a much stronger emotional connection to girls and I only ever have crushes on girls,etc. So, now I identify as homosexual which is awesome in the comfort of my own mind but when I have to start telling people, meeting other lesbians, going to gay bars, dealing with hate, it all seems so scary. When I outed myself as bi, it wasn't scary because I sort of knew it wasn't true, but now I know what I am, I am terrified. None of my family think I am anything other than a straight virgin either. I am just in need of some advice. Alaska, 16, England

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  1. Best Answer

    CHADZhenry on Oct 24, 2013 Reply

    Hello Alaska,

    At 16, you might not yet be fully aware of your own sexuality; some people are still uncertain when in their 40’s. The entire meaning of Bisexuality if that you find both sexes attractive and arousing. Just because you are aroused more by a girl than by a guy does not mean you are a Lesbian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. A true Lesbian should find absolutely nothing pleasurable or arousing about kissing a man, and yet you seem to find some pleasure in it.

    I see nothing wrong with you remaining “Bi” or “Bi-Curious” until you are in college and have a chance to see how things play out. I find little use in these labels of sexuality. All they seem to accomplish is to further divide us and to alienate those not in our own “category”.

    The only person in this world with whom you must be completely truthful and open is Alaska. You owe no one on this planet any explanations about who you are, unless you feel compelled to tell them. As long as you are comfortable with yourself, that is all that truly matters in life. You must accept yourself before you could ever expect someone else to accept you.

    Be true to yourself, that is my advice. Labels are not needed, just be Alaska!


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